Today's Opinions

In a most pleasant turn of events, hubby came home Sunday night. When he left on July 5, we didn’t expect to see him again until the end of September, but now we have two wonderful weeks to spend together.

I told our teenaged daughter, “Daddy has a lot of summery things he wants to do over the next 14 days, so whatever he suggests, we are gonna be excited about it.”

She agreed that we would make his time at home as carefree and fun as possible, then she asked, “What exactly causes a midlife crisis?”

A vacuum salesman was making his first call in rural Tennessee. He had his vacuum cleaner and excitedly knocked on the first door. A kind-looking lady answered the door and he said, “I’ve got the most exciting vacuum cleaner you have ever seen. It will clean your house from top to bottom. You only have to pay so much down.”

The lady acted interested so he said, “You see that big pile of dirt right there on the floor with all those fur balls and bugs and things. This vacuum cleaner will pick it all up or I’ll eat it.”

A pastor thought God gave him an idea and he presented it at the church board meeting. After giving his most impassioned plea and really “selling” the idea, the board voted down the pastor’s proposed changes 12-1. The head elder looked at the pastor and said, “Well pastor, its 12 votes to 1. It looks like you’ve been outvoted and it is time to go home. Will you please close in prayer?”