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If you want to be successful in your life, at work, socializing, you need to be aware that there are two groups of people to hang out with.
First, there are those who lift you up, are positive about life, have energy and enthusiasm, walk their walk, talk their walk, and generally make you feel great to be alive.
And then there are the moaners, who bring you down to their level of inactivity.
The second group is not the group to hang out with if you want to make things happen and be happy.
So hang out with the positive, smart people. I mean, people who feel life is an exciting challenge worth wrestling to the ground and having fun with.
The sort of people who have interesting points of view, who make you feel good talking to them, who have positive things to say or suggest rather than moaning, the sort of people who tell you that you look fantastic rather than criticize you.
Let’s have a look at the people you do hang out with.
Which people can you honestly say make you:
• Feel enthusiastic about seeing them?
• Make you rise to every challenge?
• Make you laugh and smile and feel great about yourself?
• Support you and nurture you and encourage you?
• Stimulate you with new ideas, new concepts and new directions?
Which people make you:
• Feel depressed after you’ve seen them?
• Make you feel angry, dejected or criticized?
• Squash your ideas and pour cold water on your plans?
• Don’t take you seriously?
• Don’t make you feel as if you can achieve anything?
Hang out with the first group. Cull the second group, unless they are just having a bad day, and everyone has those. Move on, and get it done.
No point hanging out with people who don’t make you feel good, not unless you like being down.
Conscious of it or not, we all have basic attitudes toward life and living.
We can’t really make any kind of claim to self-knowledge without knowing what these basic attitudes are.
Here is a list of my positive attitudes. See if these match your attitudes, or stimulate you to formulate yours.
•Life is a gift.
•No one is condemned by their past.
•I can survive and learn from setbacks.
•Change is possible.
•Other people’s lives matter.
•We all have something of value to contribute.
•I can afford to be generous.
•I can survive things not always going my way.
•My life is part of something awesome.
•I believe in something greater than myself.
Your attitudes drive all kinds of unconscious choices as well as conscious ones. Know what they are.
Bob Mueller is the assistant vice president of mission & stewardship at Hosparus. The views expressed in this column are those of the writer.