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Mothers Days Past

We are the result of our Mothers love, guidance, and nurturing.  For most of us it is a positive influence.  For a small minority, it was a negative. Few of us tell our Mom's often enough how important she is to us, or understand how hard she worked, or the things she sacrificed to deliver us into adulthood relatively intact and with our value system established.

The most amazing thing is that Mothers don't think they are heroes.  They just do what they do, and mostly they learned from their mothers, both what to do and what not. 

This past Sunday, I read many Mothers Day wishes posted on Facebook.  They all seemed heartfelt and genuine.  I only hope the posters went beyond a Facebook note and visited, or took her to dinner, or sent flowers.  If it has not already, there will come a time when you won't be able to celebrate Mother's Day with her, and trust me, we will all wish we had done things differently.

I spent the last 40 years geographically separated from my Mother.  Not because of anything bad, but just because I grew up, got married and moved away, and she moved, and then we both moved.  In any case, we were never closer than 600 miles.

Oh, I called her at least once a week, and told her I loved her and sent flowers on Mother's Day.  But I never, as an adult, spent Mother's Day with her, or even spent more than a week at a time with her.  Jobs and kids and other commitments all conspired to limit how often I or she could visit.  There were a couple of stretches when she lived two thousand miles away that a few years came between visits.  At the time, it didn't seem strange, it was just the way it was.  What I have come to understand is that she and I never really had the kind of relationship that most people have and that I wish I could have had. 

And now she is gone.  This is the third Mother's Day since she started her journey to a destination we all covet, but none of us understand.  Recently  my Dad moved to town, and now I can visit her any time I want, because she sits in an urn on his bookshelf.  My parents were married for 65 years, and my Dad was completely devoted to her.  There is not a day when there are not fresh flowers next to her.   I have no doubt she and he converse daily, and even less doubt, that she has the last word.

Next Mother's Day is almost a year away; don't let that be the next time you let her know how important she is to you.