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My brain has been so scattered lately that I’ve had a hard time expounding on one subject for a column, so I’m just going to run ahead with my jumbled thoughts.
Try to keep up!
The Royal Wedding: It should have been me!
Not in the sense that I should have been the one to marry Prince William.
No, I am absolutely still in love with the prince of a man I married two decades ago.
But we should have had a royal wedding, because just like William, I am also descended from Charles II, King of France.
I am still pondering what circumstances took place that allowed his mother to give birth to an heir to the throne of England, while my mother ended up in Roachdale, Ind., with the surname Pickel.
My Kids: I have five great kids! My oldest is graduating from high school this month, and I am proud of her academic achievements.
I am amused that the school keeps sending notices about the senior walk.
It gives the time and date, and then in parenthesis it states (Robes only).
Personally, I think it would be nice if they could wear something under their robes, but that’s just me.
When my oldest heads to IU this fall, my youngest will be starting preschool.
I am definitely living at both ends of the parenting spectrum. I homeschooled my three older kids to eighth grade, but am undecided on whether or not I will follow suit with the two younger ones. I am kind of enjoying letting someone else do all the work while I just show up for the fun stuff.
Dining Tables: We have been doing some major remodeling for the past several months. Now, we are getting down to the nitty-gritty. I am still trying to decide on a dining table for the new area. I found one with this really cool storage feature.
The top of the table has little doors that lift up to reveal compartments for cutlery, office supplies, and a laptop.
I tried to imagine what that would look like in my household.
The compartments don’t appear to be waterproof, which would mean spilled juice and soda pop would be dripping onto my laptop.
The office supplies, which would consist of Elmer’s glue and Crayola crayons, would be overstuffed, keeping the doors from closing all the way and causing our dinner plates to tilt at an awkward angle.
And as far as cutlery, I’d have to clear off the table in order to get to the forks when all I want is one, or two, bites of cake.
I’m thinking the storage feature doesn’t really suit our family’s lifestyle.
Fast Food: I recently heard that White Castle is going to start making their burgers round instead of square.
I called their headquarters to find out if there was any truth to this shocking rumor, but was unable to connect with an actual person.
Their recording, however, reassured me that their burgers are made from 100% pure beef that does not contain organ parts or bone meal.
I am more concerned about the shape than the contents. I say, keep them square and throw in all the organ parts you want!
You should never mess with an iconic appearance.
Movie Stars: Speaking of icons, Yvette Vickers, playboy bunny and star of “Attack the 50 Foot Woman” and “Attack of the Giant Leeches,” was recently found dead at the age of 82.
She had been dead for so long that her body was mummified.
Of course it is extremely sad that she died alone, and that no one missed her.
On the other hand, Hollywood would do well to expound on her former popularity with a new B movie: “Attack of the 50 Foot Mummy.” (I am hoping for a position with the writing staff of “The Late Show.”)
My Hair: As I write, I am sitting under the salon hair dryer.
I almost forgot my appointment, but when I looked in the mirror this morning the gray hairs stood up and shouted a reminder.
I don’t know how much longer I will continue to color my hair. I seem to be accumulating a rather large number of natural highlights.
Some are white, some are gray, but they all blend rather nicely.
One of my girlfriends refers to them as “organic” highlights.
Perhaps a little more time under this hairdryer will solve two problems: organic highlights and scattered thoughts.
Ginger Truitt is an author, speaker, and mother of five. Her award winning column appears weekly in Kentucky and Indiana. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.gingertruitt.com.