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My 5-year-old daughter is going through that stage of trying to discern the truth about Santa.
Listening to her speculate has become a source of entertainment around our household.
Her logic and reasoning reminds me of, well, myself actually.
It’s all over the place, and depending on what thought pops into her head at any given moment, it can entirely change her mood.
One morning, as we were driving to preschool, she was providing her younger brother with a running commentary on the merits of believing in Santa Claus.
I tuned in when I heard her voice take on an air of disgust as she stated, “Well, I know mom went Christmas shopping, so Santa doesn’t bring the presents. I guess he just goes around eating people’s cookies!”
“Yeah!” little brother chimed in angrily. “He just eats our cookies!”
I quickly rerouted their thinking before they brought out the pitchforks and torches.
The only chance Santa would have against their angry little mob would be the fact that his transportation is quickly airborne.
Speaking of Santa’s sleigh, do you ever wonder why it’s so easy to remember the names of his nine reindeer, but it’s always a task to recall all seven dwarfs?
I always forget Doc and Bashful.
I mean, sometimes hours pass before those two names pop into my head. For the sake of time, I Googled them for this article.
But I can rattle off Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph faster than I can recall my own five children.
Not only can I say them rapidly, I can tell you that it is also correct to call Donner “Donder.”
And that originally, Donner and Blitzen were Dunder and Blixem, which mean thunder and lightning.
I can impart all of this knowledge to you without the benefit of Google, but I can’t remember Bashful and Doc.
Obviously, Santa beats Snow White in the pop culture war.
Actually, Santa beats Snow White in every area.
Santa makes me happy. Snow White kind of gives me the creeps.
It would have been nice if Snow White had been taken in by Santa’s elves instead of the dwarfs.
No offense to Dopey and his gang, but if things had been different, she would have been so full of Christmas cookies and hot chocolate that she never would have had room to eat a poisoned apple.
One could argue that would have prevented her from meeting her prince, but love always finds a way.
And it would have been much better if that way was through a Christmas wonderland instead of a dark, scary forest.
Or maybe, if Mrs. Claus wasn’t around yet, Santa might have fallen in love with Snow White.
Quite appropriately she would have become Snow Claus!
None of the other princesses have names that work quite as well.
Cinderella Claus, Jasmine Claus, Ariel Claus...not one of those names would do.
I imagine if Santa and Snow got hitched, he could have used Christmas magic to deal with his wicked stepmother-in-law.
If her story had ended like that of the Grinch or Scrooge, the world certainly would be a better place. I guess that never occurred to the Grimm Brothers.
Well, we can sit around all day talking about the what-ifs, but it’s not going to change the facts.
Santa fell in love with Mary Christmas, and we assume they are living happily ever after with their passel of elves.
Prince Charming found Snow White and they are, in fact, living happily ever after.
And who could begrudge those hard-working dwarves their time of being nurtured?
Besides, if things had been different, apples might be banned from Christmas stockings.
So, truly, all’s well that ends well.
I just need to make sure the angry mob in the backseat of my minivan doesn’t tamper with Santa’s cookies.
Ginger is an author, speaker, and mother of five. Her award-winning column appears weekly across Indiana and Kentucky. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit ww.gingertruitt.com.