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I was thrilled to hear that the world’s favorite groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, failed to see his shadow.
Not only am I looking forward to warm weather, bright flowers and perpetually muddy floors, I am grateful that the poor women who don’t own a single winter garment will finally be able to dress appropriately!
There was a time when even the most sultry and beautiful women were smart enough to dress warmly in blizzard-like conditions.
Something about a 20 below wind chill makes it seem silly to show off your flesh.
But this winter I’ve seen as much cleavage, thigh and belly-button as I do on a hot summer day at the Kentucky State Fair.
We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant on one of the coldest days of the year.
Much, to my surprise there was a naked woman sitting at the bar!
At least from my vantage point she appeared to be naked.
As we were waiting for our table, I peered between the greenery separating us from the bar, and saw that she had on a very skimpy halter-top.
Maybe she was trying to feel south of the border, but the giant goosebumps covering her back told a different story.
A few weeks later, at another local eatery, I was busily peeling out of my wool coat, gloves, hat and scarf, and adjusting my turtleneck and sweater, when hubby choked from sucking in his own breath.
It soon became apparent that the source of his distress was some eye-popping cleavage making its way to the next table.
I wanted to say, “Hey! I have cleavage too! Give me a minute to find it, and with enough duct tape I am sure I can bring it up to a respectable level.”
This woman was nicely tanned and had great abs.
I know because they were proudly displayed too. She had to be cold though because the county had just declared a snow emergency. What good does it do to attract men by looking “hot” if your entire body is numb from the cold?
And that really is the crux of the matter isn’t it? Attracting men.
You might not want to actually interact with them, but if you can’t cover up your boobs long enough to go out during a snow emergency, then you obviously want to be noticed.
Ever heard the phrase, “Your headlights are on.”?
Well, let me tell you, not only were her “headlights” on, they were switched to bright beam, full flood, visible in the densest fog and screaming out, “Notice me! I’m freezing cold! Someone tell this woman to put on a parka!”
It was apparent that the poor thing didn’t have a stitch of decent clothing.
I really felt sorry for her and started to offer my extra sweater, but hubby stopped me. He said we shouldn’t hurt the poor girl’s feelings.
I really don’t think it was her emotions he was worried about; the view was one he was afraid he might not see again until summer.
So, I guess from her standpoint, one would have to say, “Mission accomplished!”
Ginger is an author, speaker, and mother of five. Her award-winning column appears weekly in Kentucky and Indiana. Contact her at email@example.com or visit www.gingertruitt.com.